Being yourself
I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby and everyone wanted to know what we were going to name her. We were frequently told to make sure that whatever we picked that it wasn't a name that kids could easily make fun on. Not even out of the womb and everyone was so concerned about her being teased and picked on if we named her Moonbeam Guitarstring Hise.
When I was pregnant with our son, everyone made sure to give us very "Boy Themed" clothes. Obviously, he wouldn't be able to wear hand-me-downs from his sister because she was a GIRL. Must dress him in fire trucks and cammo and guns and grenades so everyone would know our infant was a tough man-child and not a sissy.
Well, I don't know if you've met me, but let me tell you a little secret:
I don't give a rat's ass what other people think about such things.
And I damn sure was not going to base child-rearing decisions on what random people might think.
We are doing our very best to make sure that we raise our children to be two things:
Kind and Honest.
Kind to others regardless of appearance, orientation, status, bank account, religion.
Kind to themselves so that they always have faith in themselves.
Honest with themselves and with others.
We encourage them to express themselves through music, art, dance, writing, acting and fashion. We believe that all of those things help them to find what they love, to be true to themselves and to appreciate the wild, colorful world that we live in. And we want them to contribute to that.
So when my 9 year old daughter wants to shave her head because she likes the way it looks and feels and because she just doesn't want to have to mess with hair, I support that. It is, after all, just hair.
When my son paints his nails to go with whatever theme he has invented for the day, I support that. It's just nail polish. (BTW, themes range from Superhero to Cammo to Birds of Prey, just depending on what he's feeling that day)
Knowing that inevitably someone is going to make fun of those choices, we have practiced what they can say if someone gives them a hard time. Stella can give the most withering of stares if she feels someone is judging her. Roy speaks slowly to the person, as if they don't hear well, and says simply
"I like it." Neither of them mind people asking questions, but both will call you out quickly if you are laughing or trying to insult them. Then they blow it off and move on with their day. As do the children who brought it up in the first place because they have learned from my kids that it really isn't a big deal. Sure, there have been some instances when they had their feelings hurt; they are children after all. But when that happens, we talk about it, process it and move on.
Bottom line:
As a parent, my main focus is raising kind, loving humans who are confident enough to be themselves. In today's world, there are much bigger issues that what Essie nail polish my son chose this morning.
If you've got a problem with it, go talk to Stella. She'll set you straight.
When I was pregnant with our son, everyone made sure to give us very "Boy Themed" clothes. Obviously, he wouldn't be able to wear hand-me-downs from his sister because she was a GIRL. Must dress him in fire trucks and cammo and guns and grenades so everyone would know our infant was a tough man-child and not a sissy.
Well, I don't know if you've met me, but let me tell you a little secret:
I don't give a rat's ass what other people think about such things.
And I damn sure was not going to base child-rearing decisions on what random people might think.
We are doing our very best to make sure that we raise our children to be two things:
Kind and Honest.
Kind to others regardless of appearance, orientation, status, bank account, religion.
Kind to themselves so that they always have faith in themselves.
Honest with themselves and with others.
We encourage them to express themselves through music, art, dance, writing, acting and fashion. We believe that all of those things help them to find what they love, to be true to themselves and to appreciate the wild, colorful world that we live in. And we want them to contribute to that.
So when my 9 year old daughter wants to shave her head because she likes the way it looks and feels and because she just doesn't want to have to mess with hair, I support that. It is, after all, just hair.
When my son paints his nails to go with whatever theme he has invented for the day, I support that. It's just nail polish. (BTW, themes range from Superhero to Cammo to Birds of Prey, just depending on what he's feeling that day)
Knowing that inevitably someone is going to make fun of those choices, we have practiced what they can say if someone gives them a hard time. Stella can give the most withering of stares if she feels someone is judging her. Roy speaks slowly to the person, as if they don't hear well, and says simply
"I like it." Neither of them mind people asking questions, but both will call you out quickly if you are laughing or trying to insult them. Then they blow it off and move on with their day. As do the children who brought it up in the first place because they have learned from my kids that it really isn't a big deal. Sure, there have been some instances when they had their feelings hurt; they are children after all. But when that happens, we talk about it, process it and move on.
Bottom line:
As a parent, my main focus is raising kind, loving humans who are confident enough to be themselves. In today's world, there are much bigger issues that what Essie nail polish my son chose this morning.
If you've got a problem with it, go talk to Stella. She'll set you straight.
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