Grief
Grief is sneaky sometimes.
Sometimes you are minding your own business and grief smacks you in the face.
We never really "get over" a significant loss, we just learn a new way of living.
We don't forget about someone we love, we just gradually learn to allow other things to exist in the forefront of our minds.
There are constant reminders of their influence on our lives, small memories attached to the simplest things.
And sometimes you are just going about your life in your new normal and grief taps you on the shoulder and says Hello.
Oh how it can take your breath away!
And you can't escape it, nor should you.
Just as I was styling my hair yesterday, getting ready for a family birthday party, grief showed up unexpectedly.
As I was looking in the mirror and noticed the shirt I was wearing, I thought to myself, "Oh boy, GaGa is going to hate this shirt. She is going to tell me how happy she is that I finally grew my hair out, but she is really going to hate this shirt." I could hear the words in her voice and was actually preparing what I would say to her. It took me a few seconds to realize that wasn't going to happen.
When my husband walked into the room and saw me crying, I started to explain, and he finished the story for me; he knew she would have hated my shirt. His understanding made me cry even harder.
The bittersweet joy of memories and the heartache that comes with our significant relationships are such powerful factors in our lives. If we didn't love so deeply we wouldn't grieve so deeply. So I will take that reminder from yesterday and I will cherish it. I will store it away in my treasure chest full of memories and I will take it out from time to time to laugh and to cry and to remember my GaGa. I am sure it won't be the last time grief sneaks up on me, but I am also sure that when it does, I will take the opportunity to honor her.
Sometimes you are minding your own business and grief smacks you in the face.
We never really "get over" a significant loss, we just learn a new way of living.
We don't forget about someone we love, we just gradually learn to allow other things to exist in the forefront of our minds.
There are constant reminders of their influence on our lives, small memories attached to the simplest things.
And sometimes you are just going about your life in your new normal and grief taps you on the shoulder and says Hello.
Oh how it can take your breath away!
And you can't escape it, nor should you.
Just as I was styling my hair yesterday, getting ready for a family birthday party, grief showed up unexpectedly.
As I was looking in the mirror and noticed the shirt I was wearing, I thought to myself, "Oh boy, GaGa is going to hate this shirt. She is going to tell me how happy she is that I finally grew my hair out, but she is really going to hate this shirt." I could hear the words in her voice and was actually preparing what I would say to her. It took me a few seconds to realize that wasn't going to happen.
When my husband walked into the room and saw me crying, I started to explain, and he finished the story for me; he knew she would have hated my shirt. His understanding made me cry even harder.
The bittersweet joy of memories and the heartache that comes with our significant relationships are such powerful factors in our lives. If we didn't love so deeply we wouldn't grieve so deeply. So I will take that reminder from yesterday and I will cherish it. I will store it away in my treasure chest full of memories and I will take it out from time to time to laugh and to cry and to remember my GaGa. I am sure it won't be the last time grief sneaks up on me, but I am also sure that when it does, I will take the opportunity to honor her.
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