Tactical Retreat
Passionate. Feisty. Spitfire. Bitch. Strong-willed. Stubborn. Assertive.
All words that have been used to describe me throughout my life, and all true at different points. I've never been a wall flower or shy, never been afraid to speak my mind and definitely not one to hold my tongue. For better or worse. Don't get me wrong, I do possess a certain amount of tact and can usually finesse a situation when I want to. I'm a good public speaker and can present ideas and articulate well, but when I have a strong opinion or feeling about something it is going to come out.
As I've gotten older however, I've gotten better at recognizing when I need to cut my losses. My mental energy is extremely valuable to me and I no longer want to squander it on lost causes. At this point in my life lost causes refers to non-reciprocal relationships or "emotional vampires" as I call them. You know those people in your life: the ones who take and take, emotionally, with no return on your investment. Those that are so wrapped up in their own bubble that they cannot conceive of other people's reality. I don't mean that people are only valuable to me if they are giving me something physically, I mean that if someone is only sucking away emotional resources and not offering any support, kindness, love, joy, truth, laughter or emotional value in return, then I just can't continue to be their energy supply. I simply refuse to do it any more.
This is what I call tactical retreat.
In the past, I would have been angry and upset, raging about the unfairness of it all and trying to prove my point. In the present I just remove myself from the person. Please understand that this is not in reference to someone who may be going through a hard time and need support because they have nothing of their own to give at that time. We ALL go through times when we are only surviving because our loved ones are holding us up. I have been that person at many points in my life and I have also helped carry loved ones who just needed help. I am retreating from toxicity, from unhealthy relationships, from those who only bring down and never support and uplift. I don't feel the need any longer to explain in detail why it isn't working or feel guilty over moving on. I don't feel the need to "prove that I'm right" anymore in those relationships.
My life is too full of wonder and beauty and happiness to let anyone take my power.
All words that have been used to describe me throughout my life, and all true at different points. I've never been a wall flower or shy, never been afraid to speak my mind and definitely not one to hold my tongue. For better or worse. Don't get me wrong, I do possess a certain amount of tact and can usually finesse a situation when I want to. I'm a good public speaker and can present ideas and articulate well, but when I have a strong opinion or feeling about something it is going to come out.
As I've gotten older however, I've gotten better at recognizing when I need to cut my losses. My mental energy is extremely valuable to me and I no longer want to squander it on lost causes. At this point in my life lost causes refers to non-reciprocal relationships or "emotional vampires" as I call them. You know those people in your life: the ones who take and take, emotionally, with no return on your investment. Those that are so wrapped up in their own bubble that they cannot conceive of other people's reality. I don't mean that people are only valuable to me if they are giving me something physically, I mean that if someone is only sucking away emotional resources and not offering any support, kindness, love, joy, truth, laughter or emotional value in return, then I just can't continue to be their energy supply. I simply refuse to do it any more.
This is what I call tactical retreat.
In the past, I would have been angry and upset, raging about the unfairness of it all and trying to prove my point. In the present I just remove myself from the person. Please understand that this is not in reference to someone who may be going through a hard time and need support because they have nothing of their own to give at that time. We ALL go through times when we are only surviving because our loved ones are holding us up. I have been that person at many points in my life and I have also helped carry loved ones who just needed help. I am retreating from toxicity, from unhealthy relationships, from those who only bring down and never support and uplift. I don't feel the need any longer to explain in detail why it isn't working or feel guilty over moving on. I don't feel the need to "prove that I'm right" anymore in those relationships.
My life is too full of wonder and beauty and happiness to let anyone take my power.
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