Date Nights and Weekends Away
Before Russell and I got married, every Friday night was date night, without fail. When we got married, we continued the tradition. After kids, well, it wasn't quite so easy. We knew that having couple time, time where we focused on our relationship, was deeply important to maintaining the strength of our marriage. We believed that since our kids were born of our love for one another, that love needed to be nourished and cherished and not pushed aside because we were now parents. Granted, the focus had shifted. Of course we were not the most important part of the family dynamic anymore, but we were the foundation of it. So our weekly date night changed at bit: instead we decided that we would take two weekends a year away together. Minimum. If extra opportunities arose, hell yes, we would take them. But at the very least we would get away twice a year and do date nights once a month. It has been 9 1/2 years now and we are still holding to that promise.
We are very fortunate that we have family nearby and an awesome sitter that both help us to be able to enjoy time away and feel confident that our kids are in capable hands. I know that not all parents are so fortunate and I fully understand how lucky we are. Regardless, my stance on "couple time" remains the same: it is vital for parents. VITAL. And these are the reasons why:
1. We need to remember that the reason we have children is because we love each other. (I know these may not be the case for many parents; I am only speaking from our experience)
We want and need to honor that relationship.
2. Our children need to see us having a healthy, loving relationship so that they know how to model one when the time comes. If they see that we love one another and value time together, they will come to know that it is important for a mutually beneficial adult relationship.
3. Parents deserve a break. Parenting is hard work. It is draining, emotionally and physically. We think it is important to take some time off if you can so that you can rest and recharge, and head back into the work of parenting.
4. It is fun. It is fun to spend time with the person you love. We all deserve fun.
5. It helps us to be better parents because we aren't running ourselves ragged.
6. Sex. Sex is good.
7. Sleep. Sleep is good.
Tomorrow Russell and I are leaving for a quick getaway to D.C. Last week I realized that we wouldn't have a break, time alone for a weekend, until September. So I took care of blocking off our schedules with our respective businesses and arranged for my mom to come take are of the kids and puppies so we could get away. And I am really looking forward to it. The guilt went away a long time ago. I refuse to feel guilty for taking care of myself and my marriage. It makes me happy and makes me a better wife, mom and person.
We are very fortunate that we have family nearby and an awesome sitter that both help us to be able to enjoy time away and feel confident that our kids are in capable hands. I know that not all parents are so fortunate and I fully understand how lucky we are. Regardless, my stance on "couple time" remains the same: it is vital for parents. VITAL. And these are the reasons why:
1. We need to remember that the reason we have children is because we love each other. (I know these may not be the case for many parents; I am only speaking from our experience)
We want and need to honor that relationship.
2. Our children need to see us having a healthy, loving relationship so that they know how to model one when the time comes. If they see that we love one another and value time together, they will come to know that it is important for a mutually beneficial adult relationship.
3. Parents deserve a break. Parenting is hard work. It is draining, emotionally and physically. We think it is important to take some time off if you can so that you can rest and recharge, and head back into the work of parenting.
4. It is fun. It is fun to spend time with the person you love. We all deserve fun.
5. It helps us to be better parents because we aren't running ourselves ragged.
6. Sex. Sex is good.
7. Sleep. Sleep is good.
Tomorrow Russell and I are leaving for a quick getaway to D.C. Last week I realized that we wouldn't have a break, time alone for a weekend, until September. So I took care of blocking off our schedules with our respective businesses and arranged for my mom to come take are of the kids and puppies so we could get away. And I am really looking forward to it. The guilt went away a long time ago. I refuse to feel guilty for taking care of myself and my marriage. It makes me happy and makes me a better wife, mom and person.
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